19 Things I Learned in January, or How to Get Through Grief




Okay, so most of these things I already knew, but sometimes being reminded is much the same as learning it again.

  1. Lists can be your friend, but sometimes it is better to have no lists.
  2. Be kind. Bite your tongue. Keep biting it.
  3. Don’t take it personally.
  4. Give hugs. Receive hugs.
  5. Sometimes it is good to just let things lie. The house doesn’t need to be clean.
  6. Sometimes it is good to get something done. An accomplishment, however small, is a tonic for the soul.
  7. It feels great to fix or finish the Christmas ornaments before you put them away (does anyone else have a stash of broken – yet fixable – ornaments that just gets stored year to year? or handmade ones that aren’t quite done?).
  8. If you are too tired, rest. If you can’t do it, don’t.
  9. Accept help whenever it is offered.
  10. Friends are wonderful things.
  11. Finishing off the Christmas and New Year’s goodies singlehandedly is a bad idea.
  12. Movement is good.
  13. Television series can make life easier (currently? Wallander. The Good Wife. Sherlock (yay!). Poldark! a new series to enjoy with the Downton ladies: Sunday nights restored).
  14. It’s okay for kids to miss school (but if the Department of Education asks, I did not say that).
  15. “The difference between a community and a network is that you belong to a community, but a network belongs to you.” From an article on El Páis with Zygmunt Bauman that is a great reminder to embrace diversity.
  16. There are a lot of people in my communities that are good to talk to; I have a wealth of support and information around me.
  17. Fires and candles bring comfort.
  18. Colouring takes time.*
  19. Spring is coming.


* My colouring book can be seen here. You will notice (ahem) I am not using the pens that she recommends in a blog linked on the page. Must put that on the list for February.



4 thoughts on “19 Things I Learned in January, or How to Get Through Grief

  1. I don’t think I can do point no. 5. I’m pretty clean maniac, I also had part time job as cleaning lady when I was still a college student, so it became worst. And it’s really hard to let things lie. Even when I visit my best friend’s apartment, I went directly to clean his dirty dishes and mob the floor. Sometimes it’s good to be a maniac because you can help people clean up .. lol 😀


    1. Andi Liza, yes it can be very hard to just let things lie! So hard. And usually I would rather clean something up than sit and look at it messy/dirty, but January was a tough month after the death of my husband’s mother, and there were times that cleaning was the last thing I needed to be doing. There can be challenges in finding the balance between what needs to be done for practical reasons and what needs to be done for emotional ones. But we all do our best. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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